Minding My Business

I recently told myself that it’s time to start minding my own business. 

Let me explain.

I’ve spent over 2 decades working in careers of service.  As an occupational therapist, my medical team members and I often put aside our needs to ensure that each one of our patients received the physical assistance, emotional support, and dignity they not only deserved but trusted in us to provide on their journey to recovery. When I was a social service provider at a foster care agency and nursing facility, my comfort was willingly minimized in order to prioritize the well-being of the clients that I served. I told myself that it would be selfish to think about myself when other people really needed help.  I believed that my issues didn’t remotely compare to what other people were experiencing and whatever I needed or wanted must wait because it was less important. What I did not understand at the time was that my decision to repeatedly put aside my needs and desires would eventually create a subconscious pattern of self-neglect.  My unacknowledged yearnings were so neatly tucked away that my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs had stopped presenting themselves and became passive and quiet. I am certain that I am not alone.  I have spoken with so many of my co-workers in these helper professions, as well as primary caregivers, who can attest to its validity because we share very similar experiences.

At the moment when I told myself to mind my own business, I was careful to say it with wholehearted tenderness. This was vastly different from the times in the past when I would criticize and shame myself for even daring to think about taking care of my own needs, especially when other people were “really” suffering. This time, I felt peace in witnessing my growth as I lovingly whispered it to myself with the gentleness previously reserved solely in memories of singing lullabies to our daughter when she was a newborn baby. The words were spoken with honor and self-respect for the wide range of experiences and lessons that I have learned along the way. I shared the message in such a way that only someone who really knew me and wanted the very best for me could convey it.

I have found truth in the adage that says we can’t pour from an empty cup. These days, minding my business means taking care of myself in a nurturing way. It means making sure that I am eating well, getting adequate sleep, exercising, and allowing my creative inner child time to play and explore. It means examining my thoughts, behaviors, and habits to determine if they are serving me, or if I am serving them. Minding my business means being there to encourage the people who I deeply care about while setting boundaries and parameters to not prioritize their wishes and well-being above my own. It means gaining clarity about what matters to me and not simply going with the flow with whatever is socially popular or acceptable. When I encounter something that does not resonate with me, I lovingly show up for myself to align with that which is most meaningful to me. I have finally learned to nurture myself and tend to my own garden.

Sending love and light to you always.

🩷✨