Crushing Our Goals in 2025

If you are anything like me, I am sure this will feel familiar to you. There have been countless times when I wholeheartedly believed that I really wanted something. I would feel so much excitement every time that I thought of it, but would somehow find almost anything else to do when it was time to take action to actually get it. I would procrastinate, but somehow feel simultaneously confused because my avoidance contradicted my desired outcome. 

A couple of years ago, I earnestly made a New Year’s resolution to become more fit for an impending summer vacation in Jamaica with my husband for our wedding anniversary.  I decided to purchase a tangerine colored bathing suit for the trip to use as motivation to consistently exercise. January 1st rolled around and I eagerly arrived at the gym with my water bottle and an optimistic attitude. My positive outlook continued for several subsequent gym visits. By the end of the third week, I left work and told myself that I needed to stop by the bookstore for “just a few minutes”  before heading to the gym. When I arrived, I started to look through books and magazines that magically seemed significantly more interesting than ever before.  After a while, I felt thirsty so I visited the cafe to order my favorite tea, a matcha latte. I told myself that I would only stay a little while longer to finish drinking my latte and look through the book in my hands, but then I looked out of the window and was surprised to see that snow had started to fall. “It will be too much of a hassle to go to the gym now. I’d rather go tomorrow ”, I told myself. Needless to say, that day in particular started what eventually became a major detour from my New Year’s resolution. 

When my daughter was a toddler, I recall several occasions when she would become persistent when she really wanted something. I can specifically recall one Tuesday morning when we were getting dressed to go to our local library for their weekly toddler circle group. My daughter hurriedly gathered her clothes and awkwardly slipped on her shoes while repeatedly saying “Mom Mom, let’s go!”  She even retrieved my keys and shook them to make noise to let me know that she was ready to leave. I wanted to reassure her so I replied, ”Don’t worry. We will get there on time and you will see your friends.” She looked directly at me and paused for a couple of seconds.  I could tell that she knew that I was not fully grasping what she was trying to tell me. Eventually, she sighed and gently said “I want the train.”  I gave it some thought and wondered what the train had to do with the circle group. Finally, the lightbulb lit up in my brain and the message that she was trying to convey became clear. She was being persistent because knew that if we arrived early, she would have the opportunity to play with the popular train set before the other children arrived. I obliged and felt like Mom of the Year as I witnessed her happiness with 15 minutes of uninterrupted play time with the train. Just as importantly, I learned that persistence is a natural response when we have an authentically compelling reason.

Can you think of a time when you persisted despite challenges because your “why” superseded the difficulties? Contrarily, can you remember another experience when you did not follow through with your goal because you did not have a meaningful reason? I’ve learned that in order for me to remain disciplined to reach my goal, there are a couple of quick areas that I can address to improve the probability that I will successfully achieve it.  

First, I ask myself “Do I really want this or is this something that I feel expected to do based on parental expectations, societal norms, or outdated identities? I want to make sure that I am choosing this goal because it matters to me.  I also want to be certain that it matters to me today and not who I was six months or three years ago. I consider the source of this goal to rule out the possibility of wanting it because of family tradition or to keep up with friends or what is expected of a woman at my age. 

The next step is to find my ‘why”.  What is my convincing reason? Why do I want this so deeply?  Is there something that matters to me enough to become motivated and remain consistently disciplined to keep going even on the challenging days or when I really don’t feel like it? Once I identify my “why”, I write it down I my journal.  Being a creative at heart, I will sometimes photograph it or a symbol that will anchor it and serve as a visual reminder of it. Let’s use the example of a goal to save money for an art summer camp for my daughter.  I will write down the goal and perhaps words that describe how I anticipate feeling when I achieve it such as “proud”, “relieved”, or even “excited”.  Some people may choose to visualize the experience of picking their happy child up from camp or having a relaxing day to themselves. It is also beneficial, whether you envision it or not, to experience it with your senses before you even obtain it. Allow yourself to feel the positive emotions of having your goal fulfilled before it happens. 

Finally, I start to take action while being loving towards myself. Some people will make big leaps once they have identified their compelling reason. For others like myself, taking a small step is an easier way to get started.  That can look like simply taking the yarn out of the closet in order to knit a sweater, looking at one website for a local Salsa or Afrobeat dance class, or reading the first page of a new book that has remained on your coffee table for the past 2 months. It doesn’t matter if the initial steps are small. The most important thing is that you’ve started and are beginning to build momentum.  You may even notice that one you get started you might complete even more than you had initially intended. It’s the little consistent steps that will eventually matter the most.  It is also important to not allow the typical functioning of your protective and primitive brain convince you that you lack the time. You can schedule small blocks of time, as few as 15 minute during a lunch break at work or your toddler’s nap time. 

I have personally found this approach helpful lately and wanted to share it in the hopes that it’s useful to you as well. I would love to know your thoughts on this, so please feel free to comment. 

Now, let’s get out there and start crushing our goals in this new year! I’m rooting for you!!!

Sending love & light to you always.